All in all, my trip to Kansas was a disaster. It almost made me want to stop traveling altogether. But I realize that I’m doing important work here. I mean, if I don’t see these places, who will? I mean, who else has been to Switzerland? No one!
And no one has been to Kansas either, as far as I can tell. I know I won’t go again. That’s for SURE!
Hopefully my next trip will be more interesting. I guess it couldn’t be less!
Anyway, here’s the sun setting over Wichita’s commercial district.
I’ve been to Kansas before. Everything said these last few posts is 140% true. There seem to be only two good things about Kansas: I-70 and I-435.
My trip to Kansas continued as I visited the VILE, TWISTED heart of Jayhawk Country, Lawrence. This is me standing in the middle of the University of Kansas campus.
There seemed to be a lot more bees than Jayhawks. And since I’m INCREDIBLY allergic to bees, I ran away as fast as my makeshift Tiger costume would allow. The bees chased me for some reason, and I climbed a tree to escape them.
THIS DID NOT WORK.
So part of my trip was spent in KU Med, where I was operated on by a very friendly scarecrow. I told him I had been to Switzerland, and he seemed VERY impressed as he applied leeches to my body by candlelight.
So the Missouri Tigers went to the SEC a couple years back, and so we don’t play our old rivals the Kansas Jayhawks anymore. One of my deepest, darkest, most intimate fears is that Tigers and Jayhawks will forget that we hate each other and there will be…ugh…interbreeding.
A hybrid Tigerhawk(?) is another of my most intimate fears, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and re-educate (or just educate Ha ha!) the people of Kansas at the same time I crossed another of the 50 states off my list.
Amazingly, I’d never been to Kansas before, despite living right on its border. And other than my hatred of the Jayhawks, I don’t know that much about it. I heard we kicked their ass in “Dubya-Dubya-Two,” whatever that is, and I know Dorothy wants to go back there for some reason, but not much else.
So I threw together my own version of the “Truman the Tiger” costume and toured Kansas, spreading the golden light of M-I-Z…Z-O-U!
This is a picture of me standing in downtown Topeka.